Materialistic or our constant

So before I start this blog I understand where this can come across as a very materialistic thought but hang with me.  So living the military lifestyle we live to what it may appear that we are materialistic however I have come to the realization that we tend to see our stuff as a constant.  Now I am a christian and I know that God is my truly only constant so don't mistake that for one bit but again hang on a little bit longer. For us we have been moving every two-three years for a while. When I was a younger military wife moving around to new places was a great thing.  It was intriguing to see the world, meet new people, make lasting friendships etc. It was like Christmas.  They come in pack your "stuff."  Eventually you get to the new place and your stuff finally arrives.  As you open the boxes (even when it has just been a couple of weeks since you saw it) and you feel like you are opening a bunch of new presents.  Things you have had forever or stashed in the "junk" drawer suddenly get a second look, it triggers a memory and you love it more than ever.  As the years go by before you know it for over half of your life you have been doing the same thing...unpacking the so called "junk drawers."  As we wind down this assignment I find myself having a hard time packing my "stuff" up again.  With the waiting of our new assignment, a new place another unknown the thought of packing my stuff up to be put in a box and be put away really hit me hard this time.  As I have been packing up my seasonal stuff I know the routine...pack it up good this time as you will not put it up in this house again so it will sustain another move.  The next time it comes out it will be at a new house for a new season somewhere else. For some reason it saddened me. I was talking to a friend about that and through that conversation I told her it seems so crazy to me. I am not materialistic (I mean don't get me wrong I have been in the past when I was younger) bu for some reason I could not put my finger on this feeling.  Well as we chatted through it and then it made sense.  For some people things are things, materials can be materialistic however I think for a good chunk of military families our materials become our constant.  We chuckle and say we are transients in my family because our roots are only put down for a short time just to be pulled right back up.  When you live in a house that is not yours due to renting it or living on base for the time being your "stuff and family" is what makes it a home. We wait for a long time until the day that we get to live in our forever home.  We all have a book of life....each season brings a new chapter.  My hubby and I are in the chapter of our son almost graduating college, getting married and going off into this big old thing we call the world. We have adjusted to becoming empty nesters (however it did take some time) but as I look around the house, pack stuff up for seasons, carry it to the garage I see the bins of my sons stuff growing up.  As the conversation kept going like I said it hit me....these items we call "stuff" like our family become our constant.  When we move into all the "New" unknowns like the house, unknown town, unknown new church and unknown friends that will come our "stuff" is our constant.  When we unpack it of course it feels like Christmas (okay I will admit after 50 boxes, a ton of tape stuck every where, and paper coming out your ears,  is does become overrated lol) because when we see it memories are linked to it.  Rather it be a silly straw that you can see them sitting at the kitchen table drinking milk,  a blanket they used to cuddle up on the couch with or a piece of furniture that grew with them....all in all it still has the same feeling.  We cling to those things because it is not just stuff but is it laughter, happiness, tears, sadness and so many more emotions.  So it doesn't really explain why some bases are harder to leave than others but what is does explain is why I am feeling that way.   I do a lot of refurbishing of furniture.  As I look around my house each piece was painted with a purpose.  It make be a kitchen table of many different colors, a flag tv stand or a white rustic buffet but in those moments of painting those I have had many conversations with friends, my hubby, my son and family that are priceless.  A lot of conversations that made us laugh, that made us cry, that drew us closer, made us grow as a person or created a new bond.  So with all that being said....our "stuff" in our house brings a certain safety, memories, comfort and above all love.  Until Next Time.......

Your gut instinct is a gift from God...use it, go with it, follow it.

Three years ago a post rolled through a newsfeed from a friend that would change my life forever.  To step back a bit, my friend Deleesa and I had boys that went to kindergarten and first grade together.  Then you know the military life story...we moved away.  We lost contact over the years but later hooked up on facebook.  On October 17, 2010 she posted this post.  Not sure if you can read it but it was a prayer for a friend of hers and her husband.

After reading this post most of the time I just say I will be praying but this time it was different.  God whispered in my heart to type a prayer out.  So I did.  I did not know what the outcome would be but I knew I was supposed to do it.  Later that day in my inbox I received a message from someone I did not know.  I read it and when I did I knew exactly why I typed out that prayer. Here is the message from that very day Oct 17, 2010.

When I typed that prayer I truly felt that was the holy spirit telling me to do.  Here way my response in a message back. (had to edit as it had my current phone number in it.) To Tracy:God is the Alpha and Omega, First and Last, One and Only. The ulimate physicians of our lives. What our will is, is not always His but His will is always for the best for us. We may not see it immediatly, a year or ten years but you can bet He knows our hearts and loves us so much. I would love to take credit for the prayer but the Holy spirit lives in me and that is my voice..(well sometimes...the things I say or react are not so Holy spirit like..lol) Today God allowed me to tell you that right when you needed it. To me that is His was of showing you to just trust Him. I hope you have a good day and call me if you need anything.

From that very day because of one friend another friendship started.  Tracy and I started facebooking.  Then it turned into texting and finally chatting on the phone.  Hearing the story truly broke my heart as you could tell Denny (her husband) was a great man.  He was a well respected kids softball coach and he loved what he did.  A few months prior in July 10 he fell on a contracting job thus breaking his leg.  It was a very nasty break and the decision was made to try to save the leg. Over the course of three years Denny has had 17 surgeries, multiple skin graphs etc.  Surgery number 18 would be the final closer in the chapter of surgeries but a new chapter in their lives and what I believe a chapter of healing.  

As you notice in the paragraph above Tracy and I were in contact with facebook, text messages and phones call....but one thing was missing.  We NEVER had met face to face.  It seemed every opportunity that came up something kept us from meeting.  My husband ran the USAF 2012 that was in Dayton, Ohio (where they live) and got to meet them for a brief second but still I had yet to hug her neck.  We moved this past summer to Missouri which still left us about 8 hours from Dayton knowing one day it would be doable to get up there to meet her and Denny.  Just was not sure when. 

My husband usually runs certain marathons a year but decided to take 2013 off due to some injuries he had etc.   He went out on a short run as he always does and came back from this run with a very heavy heart.  He proceeded to tell me he was running the USAF marathon, mind you was late in the game as it was just a few short months away and hoping it was not booked up.  Wouldn't you know he got in and got to run with about 20 people from where we live know that went up....sorry back to the point.  His heart was very heavy for Denny that night.  You see a few months back Tracy and Denny told us the news that Denny had decided to have his leg amputated.  As I stated before 17 surgeries, graphs etc.  It came with so much pain, botched surgeries etc.  He was so limited on what he could do.  No running, no coaching and no enjoying life.  After meeting with a team of doctors etc the date was set for September 19th to have the leg amputated.  As I informed Jay of that date months earlier he said okay etc.  When he went out to run that day his heart was heavy for Denny and the whole situation that he decided to run that marathon in honor of Denny.  He told me what he wanted to do and I called Tracy immediately to chat with her to tell her Jay's plan. We needed her okay, blessing and to be a sneaking girl in this one and keeping it all from Denny for months.  They are very private but needed her help in this next step.  Not only did Jay want to run it with him but he wanted to go to the hospital after the race and give Denny his finishers medal to make a pack with him that next year they would run whatever marathon length they can at the 2014 USAF marathon.  With all that I knew with out a shadow of a doubt I would finally meet Tracy finally....coincidentally (okay so not so coincidence) Denny's surgery was on the 19th of September 2013 and the USAF marathon was on 21st of September 2013 both being located in Dayton, Ohio.

Plans started pulling together, dates where finalized and the plans were made.  I booked my plane ticket to go up there on the 18th so I could be with them the day of the surgery etc.  On Sept 18th at roughly 6:00 pm just shy of three years to the date I finally hugged my sweet friend Tracy's neck at the airport.  I never thought it would take almost three years but God's timing was perfect.  The surgery was a huge success with a OUTSTANDING team of doctors, nurses etc.  We had prayed in the waiting room that morning with the almost exact prayer from three years earlier.  We knew God was he ultimate doctor....we knew his hands would be all over this surgery, we knew he had Denny in the palm of his hand.  This surgery would be the hardest but in the end the best I felt for their lives to finally start somewhat fresh. 

On September 21st we made our way to the hospital, unbeknownst to Denny what was about to happen, to let those two make a pact. When we got there nerves where all over the place for the three of us.  Not sure how Denny would take it.  We knew he wanted to run again, coach again etc...so thinking this might give him something to focus on when days get hard, physical therapy begins, etc.  As we were walking up the halls I remember texting Tracy we are on our way etc.  My stomach was a ball of nerves.  We stayed at the hospital for a bit then Jay finally did his thing.  He told Denny why he ran and what his reason's where for.  My husband is a man of little words but his actions always speak for themselves. Not only was this his personal record time for running a full marathon it felt like a personal win for Denny.  As he was telling Denny why he ran, you could see Denny's reaction and not sure what to do.  As he took the medal you could see a heart that was so soft, a man that had been somewhat broken have some hope again, and more importantly I knew at that moment we had life long friends.   I never doubted that Tracy and I would be life long friends but now our husbands have a bond that no one can break, a understanding that no one else can understand what mentally went on that day, and a peace that surpasses all understanding.  We know that Tracy and Denny will have days of doubt on this decision, days of frustration, days of questioning etc....they are human and that comes with the territory and nature of this situation.  Once he gets that prosthetic leg on watch out world Denny will be non-stoppable.  Their world as they knew it for the past three years is going to change.  As I stated before this 18th surgery from a outsider looking in the book of life sees this chapter as a chapter of Hope, healing, and regaining life again.  

                                                         Denny and Jay Sept 21, 2013

Three years ago it started because someone obeyed God and asked for prayer on facebook. Because of that a friendship started and a bond that (I may have just finally hugged my friends neck for the first time just less than a month ago) truly felt like we had been life long friends.

So today I hope to leave you with this.  God gave us a gut instinct for a reason.....use it......go with it.......follow it.