My Life Verse

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not undo your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Tattered, torn and broken wings.....

God threw a wrench in my family life when he sent my hubby on a job for a extended period of time.  I am in a position that I would not be able to go with him.  Recently, I have moved to a new location to enjoy some time near family which we usually never get with a military lifestyle.  This year is proving to be a rollercoaster ride as there has been up and downs.  In the beginning, I threw myself so many pity parties but then a swift kick in the butt from God reminded me pity parties are okay for a bit but you can't stay there.  There is so much beauty in God's creation but with life circumstances we tend to miss them. I have started to to be intentional and really appreciate the little things around me.

     On my back deck I alway have some beautiful birds, dragon flies and butterflies.  Recently I bought a camera and love playing with it so all these animals give me the chance to learn my settings etc.  A couple days ago I saw this sweet butterfly sitting on my deck...I immediately ran to grab my camera and snap some pictures.  What I love about the camera is the lens allows you to see details that a naked eye can't always see. I have taken pictures of many butterflies on my back deck but as I started taking pictures when it wings were up then when they were down I noticed this butterfly has a piece of its wing missing but even with that how beautiful it still is.  All of the sudden so many thoughts came over me and I wanted to put it to "paper" so to speak.

    In that moment my thought was so clear....I think so many of us can relate to this butterfly.  We all around with our "wings" up so no one can see how broken we can be or are.  We walk around with wings up so people can't see or ask about our hurt, sadness, anger, bitterness, betrayals, and the list goes on.  If we walk around with our wings up that doesn't allow people to come in and add to that list of damage or if we allow them to see the damage we think they won't like us anymore.  I can admit I am so guilty of those walls.  Those walls are our armor, our safety and our comfort zone.  However over the years I have learned that staying in our comfort zone.....that is like holding hands with the devil.  He wants you to be comfortable, he wants you to believe you are truly broken, that you can never be restored and he wants you to walk around with a broken wing.  I don't know about you but I am tired of walking around that way.

The reality is this.....we are all broken.  We are human, we all have had to deal with hurt, sadness, anger, bitterness and betrayals.  It is what we choose to do with those situation that matters.  Every single thing we walk through in life has a story, a emotion and a outcome.  Sometimes that outcome is what we want or maybe not what we want but in the end we know God's plans for us always prevail.  Our stories are our/Gods testimonies.  Some of the stories turn out good and some turn out bad. What I do know is that God uses everything good and bad for his glory.  We may not see that while we live on this earth but they are proof we serve a loving, wonderful, merciful God.  I can look around and see so many people I know (to definitely include myself) that walk around with broken wings...some are missing more on their wings than others.

As our paths cross with new people we keep our wings up until we get comfortable then we slowly let them down.  As they get lower we start to share the story that caused that tear, rip or piece totally missing in that wing.  Other times we let them down but never share that story or the outcome of that story for fear of losing a friend or loved one.  I have been in that situations when I have shared a story and lost friends.  I was crushed at the time but I look back and realize a few things.  Either is was not the time to share that story,  that person was not in a place to receive the story that I thought they could relate to or they truly weren't a friend in the end.  Those reactions from people tend to cause us to put those wings right back up.  My challenge for all of us is to be more transparent and share those stories of our broken wings to help others heals theirs.  My prayer for me in the past few years are that God will lay on my heart when the time is right, the purpose of my sharing truly has a purpose, sharing it to the right person but above all share it so it gives him the glory not gives me self glory.  

I can't help but think if we could see ourselves through Gods eyes we would see a perfectly beautiful butterfly.  He sees the brokenness, hurt, anger, sadness, bitterness, betrayals etc. but he sent his son to make those wings whole again.  People say God never gives us more than we can handle but I strongly disagree with that.  Those broken wings are a reminder that God gives us more than we can handle in this life so that we learn to lean on and trust in him.  If he never gave us more than we could handle we would sit complacent.  In the words of Jimmy Carter "I hate to see complacency prevail in our lives when it's so directly contrary to the teaching of Christ." 

~Until next time