Self Sabatage.........Why do we do it?

Self Sabotage....why do we do it?

That has been a question I have struggled with for years and the answer always varies for each person. It can be shopping, food, anxiety, questionable thoughts, fears, prescription meds, a whole host of other things, ways, or events.

If I was to ask you what do you use as your sabatage...what would your answer be??  If I was to ask you why you self sabotage?  What are the reasons...defeat, abuse, failed marriages, rejection, acceptance, and the list goes on...However the things that you use to cover the pain of whatever you have not dealt with...it will just manifest in a different way of sabotage unless you fully deal with the underlying issue.  That may be in way of counseling, biblical community, etc....make sure that it is a place that truly wants to help you get through it and be better at the end.

Two big things that come to mind is food and shopping.  A pattern that was set for me was when things go bad we go shop to make it feel better.  At first a pack of gum would make me happy for a bit, then the thing that made me happy got bigger and bigger, purse, shopping spree for clothes etc.  It was a happy high that lasted for a while until I would balance the check book and BOOM here comes the after math.  The head held low as I tell my spouse there is nothing left in the checkbook because I spent it all.  I did that to solely deal with my emotions.  After years of this pattern I still struggle with it not near as often but my husband said to ask is this a need or a want.  That truly helps keep me in check to make sure that I am not finding my "happiness" in stuff.

The next thing I try to find comfort is in food.  Oh wow does that chocolate brownie look good, so good I will eat three.  Wow did I really eat that whole bag of chips, wake up in the morning to find wrappers on the floor next to your bed, eat everything in the cabinet because that is the comfort.   When things go bad we run to food.   As most americans we all struggle with some self image flaw.  So this vicious circle never stops. I am unhappy with the way I look so gee let me go eat everything in the cabinet...nothing sastified me but dang it I just ate a million calories so yep here comes the weight.  I don't know about you but that doesn't make much sense but we do it anyways.  For years I have suffered from insomnia...sleeping maybe fours hours a night with meds, I would be up in the middle of the night by myself and eat everything that I could get my hands on.  The next morning I would get up know I ate it in a fog but then go to throw something away and yep there sits all the evidence.  What happens then....well the comfort food was never a comfort and now I look into the trash can and it verifies that the vicious circle never has stopped.  

So with all of this being said...over the years (even though I STILL struggle with this stuff time to time) I have come to know that my comfort in not in STUFF but in God.  I know that in my heart of hearts He is a GOD that loves me in spite of my weight, my shopping habits, etc.  The fact that my God knew me before I was born, knows every detail down to the last hair on my body is amazing.  He is bigger than the defeat, abuse, failed marriages, rejection, acceptance, and the list goes on.  Why would I not want to find comfort in someone who is not judgemental, who truly loves me for me. Can you think of a reason not to? 

How do I handle it do you want to know...when I get ready to go shopping I truly hear my husband saying is that a want or a need (for accountability...although I try to hit the mute button when it is a cute purse or clothes haha) but God gave me something bigger than that.  He gives me the right to tell the devil off....so I plainly in my head say Satan you do not get victory over this.  My God gets this victory so on that note you can go right back to hell where you belong.  That my friends is what brings me comfort.  Although I still struggle with those things I truly can say that most of the time and walk away. 

When I do mess up I am reminded that I have a God that loves me like no other and He has forgiven me so I need to forgive myself and move past it...don't dwell in it or it will eat you alive.  Stop that vicious circle before it begins again.

until next time....

Spiritual DNA....and

A couple of sentences in a book grabbed me like a mom grabbing her child frantically from running out into busy traffic....

"The challenges they face are as different as the hemispheres where they live, but I see them as twins. They share the same spiritual DNA.  They are driven by the same passion...They accomplish ridiculously amazing things for God's glory.  Their faith seems to be turbocharged from some source that the average Christian never quite taps into." Sun Stand Still...Steven Furtick.

Some things that came to mind is how we are all connected by God's same spiritual DNA but how come we all use is so differently.    I know God gives us different talents, interests, missions etc but how come so many of us just barely tap into them.  Here is a few thoughts of mine..

When you are a "christian" (I use quotations as that is how most people use the signal when they talk about us) in this very dark world one of two things happen..you are called a hypocrite or a Jesus Freak. People either run so far from you, make fun of you, heckle you, pretend to walk that road with you then bail when the times get to hard...etc.   Well in this dark world we were ALL design with God's blueprints that has built in SDNA (spiritual DNA).  How come we just sit lukewarm in that....scripture tells us this...So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am about to spit you out of my mouth. Rev 3:16 (NIV)  I don't know about you but I don't want Jesus to spit me out.  If Jesus spits me out you might as well ship me right to hell cause that is how our lives will be..NO THANKS.

How come we see so many needs but yet we just go day to day and never step out.  We let God have some of our things but we really limit him to work only in some areas.  So many of us have a story, event, a coincidence that led to something bigger (which might I add are not that...they are truly God's divine appointments), an addiction etc that we have been able to claim victory over it and yet we are so closed up that we can't even share them...we can't be transparent so that we can help others...God has a so much more in mind that us just surviving on this earth.  He has a plan for us, huge plan for us be we just do enough to get by.   I am the worlds worst about getting into my bible, taking time to talk to God, or just thanking him for the day to day stuff that he provides so as I say this to you I am saying the same thing to myself.

Imagine if we let that SDNA loose...what if for once we let it out of our body and run with it.  Can you imagine?  Can you imagine how we "christians" can change this world.  How God's light can shine like nobody's business?  Sounds great doesn't it....well then what in the heck are we waiting for....let's do it, lets let it out.   So what does that look like...well quite frankly I don't know what it is for you seeing that I did not design you..(thank goodness because you would all be wearing flip flop and carrying coach purses...maybe that is not a bad thing..lol) but here is what I do know...simple things can simply change others.

 Take the time to look someone in the eyes and say hello, how are you today?  Someone looks lost (I mean lost soul, giving up etc) give them a hug and tell them that you love them but most of all God loves them, send you neighbor a note in the mail with no return address telling them what a great neighbor they are,  pay for the car behind you in line at a fast food drive through or at a starbucks, buy the cashier that works at the grocery store a candy bar and a drink, go through your clothes and purge them.. pass them on to someone in real need,  your oh my gosh the list goes on...those are the little things but so many of those "little" things lead into a domino affect from one random act of kindness or a little idea that starts out as a simple thing catches on and becomes huge from people wanting to help out but did not know where to start.  So my challenge to  you is to do something awesome this week to let your SDNA out of the cage and be free.   I have tried to instill this in my son's head since he was little how something so little can be so big and can change someone for that moment, that day, or forever.

My thought who cares what people will say, think or do.  Bottom line you were put on this earth, all (believers or not) of us were created by our Father...all set with the same spiritual DNA.  You are a CHRISTIAN, saved by ONE man.  ONE man took everything for us, things that NO ONE should ever have to endure for another, the least we can do is help ONE more man know that.

My challenge for you is to do one thing everyday.  So I look forward to hearing the stories of how one thing changed someone else's day. As things happen this week I encourage you to post them on here to help someone else step out and do the same.

So where does your spiritual DNA stand...how do you plan on letting it loose?

until next time....

In a mere second life can........

The morning of March 11 at three something in the morning God woke me up with this title and message. I have had it in edit status for a few days as I wait for God to finish it...so here we go

In a mere second life can change...for an instant, for a season, or forever.

We go everyday through life without the thought of anything happening to me...maybe we think about it, maybe we don't. On a daily basis we have 86,400 seconds that pass us by. However we can have 86,399 good ones and then the one second somewhere in that day can change your life temporary or forever.

In a mere second you may hear several different things in different peoples lives...like your pregnant, here is your new keys to your house, congrats on the new car, will you marry me, or things like...I am sorry you have cancer, I want a divorce, you have a disease, your son or daughter has a incurrable sickness, the decision you made cost your life, the jury we find you guilty, you don't know how dissapointed I am in you, the list is endless with good and bad results.

In that next second we start the next season, processing it. At that very moment you have the choice to look at it as a negative thing or a blessing. We spend so much time living in the what if, if I could have, I should have done this, why did I not....those what if's, how comes, and why not are from SATAN and NOT from our God!! Who might I add when you do that you just give him more ammunition. In a world that if full of dark and evil stuff why keep on giving him that power. That stuff just holds you in bondage to him and frankly he, Mr. Hellraiser is not worth the effort.

So in each situation I ask you when the "next" second happens how are you going to handle it? We always say in that very second I would have.....when and how will your next seconds count? Just my random thoughts...

Until next time........

Is your God in a box? Let Him out...He might just transform your life!!

Let me start out by saying....I truly like blogging as it gives me a out for my thoughts. So thank you to whomever created the blog...lol

So lately I have seen so much in my family change when I decided to let God out of the box that I was in control of.

Started this bible study roughly end of 09 called Be Transformed by Scope Ministries. www.scopeministries.org/ There are nine chapter in this book below in order. 1. Discovering the Root of our problems, 2. Understanding the Good News, 3.Seeing ourselves as God sees us, 4. Getting to know our heavenly father, 5. Living by the spirit, 6. Controlling emotions, 7. Expectations, anger, and bitterness, 8. The perfomace treadmill, and 9. A life transformed.

Well yep you look at that and I don't know about you but I wanted to run. The first five I was good with, although I totally learned to much but the next ones well I wanted to plan four absences. lol

Back up a few...I have over come several things that happened to me in the past and in growing up. As I have overcome that stuff made total peace, gave forgiveness, etc wow did I learn a few things I thought I already knew. All though I had forgiven over all is still affected some of my lifes habits and decision. The bible study was going great until chapter seven....might as well dumped a whole truckload of manour on me..because that chapter permiated the smell of it in my life.

So chapter seven was expectations, anger, and bitterness. Well I soon realized that I had it in two huge areas of my life...One my finances and two my husband. In my house growing up after a discipline issue that usally went to far...the habit was for my mom to take me out and buy me something to make me and her feel better for what happened. Bad thing...started a pattern that has haunted me till about six months ago and it is still sometimes a struggle. So when life goes crazy or out of control I really have to fight to go out and shop for instant gratification but the finacial apsect of it well that hits me later. I love to shop at whatever cost, credit card, run the check book on empty etc. I tell you this because I am so free from that 95 percent of the time and it was this chapter. The only thing that can meet my eternal and earty happiness is my God. My husband plays a huge roll in it as I use Him as my rock to keep me from spending...lol He says ask yourself if it is a need or a want. Well a huge portion of the time it is a want...then I put it down and walk away..lol

The second part of this is my husband....Get ready because this my friend changed my life plus His!! On January 26, 2010 in my living room I told my girls at the group that were there that day that I was done...done with expectations with my husband. (Most of you know Jay now but one year ago he was a different man. Although he has always been a awesome man, great husband, provider, and dad the one thing I wanted I did not have...that was him to be the spiritual leader of our family.) I was tired of carrying that load. We are military and everytime we move we don't always find a church so you have to try to stay grounded. That was not a load that God called me to carry. He calls the man to be that leader. So that very day I said I am done. I am giving him to God...God if you think you can do it better then here he is...I am tired of him failing my expectations that then created anger, and then bitterness. (You see we have a son that just turned 18 and has a huge passion for God...hello God he needed that example)...well I know better to smart off to God because I know he just shakes his head and says watch this...lol
For a couple of weeks nothing changed....for the next two weeks something changed. My husband was quiet, edgy, moody etc...I kept asking what was going on, have I upset you, hurt you etc. Nope that is what I would get. Well Feb 21 I got the phone call...the dreaded phone call. Honey I am coming home for lunch and we need to have a serious talk. Well my stomach sunk, and my heart pounding. It was almost out 18 year wedding anniversary is seven days...really???? Well he came home and wow what a lunch. He proceeded to tell me how he has been freaked out for the past several weeks as he has notice some things changing in his life. (my husband is that guy who gets up at 4:30 every morning reads cnn.com, msn.com, and you version.com...see the pattern internet junky...lol) During the time I said God I am done...you deal with him...oh he did. So many things happened with God just changing my husbands heart and my husbands role...after several events back to back he jumped in took the role that I have been waiting for a long time....fast forward one year later my husband is the mens ministry leader, Is the paul in so many guys life..pours into them and I mean pours in to them with his whole heart. He loves like God, he leads like God, he has a HUGE passion for God and most of all he is our spiritual leader. He has set the bar for our son who is so solid in Christ right now and I know that with the leader he has had the past year he knows exactly what he is called to do if and when he marries his wife. I have been able to set that role aside and be the wife that God intended me to be...submissive to my sweet hubby who is finally right in line with God and God's plan for him. Today I love my husband more and more...we just celebrated 19 years of marriage and he is our spiritual leader...that my friends is priceless..

With chapter seven...I learned that NO ONE on this earth will ever meet my expectations and I mean NO ONE! The only person that will meet my expectations 100% in my sweet savior. So people time to take those expectations off of others and let God have it...DO NOT take it back. You can't change someone...only God can. You can be a example, a I will walk beside you kind of person, and I am hear for you but YOU can't change anyone.

With closing sadly we tend to put our God in a box....we limit Him to what He can do because either we want it done our way or we don't want anyone else to control it but us. We know that God always, always works for our good right? Then give it to him let him deal with your crap...he can clean it up so much better than we can.

So in closing...I leave you with this....let God out of the box that you keep Him in...you will be suprised at what he can do in a moment that we can't do in a lifetime...

until next time......

Yes I hear you but am I really listening?

So how many times to you say yes I hear you? Without fail I say that several times a day....sadly most of those day I don't really listen. It would not be with my family or my friends but it is with God. This move thing has been a true test of faith.

I can't imagine how many times God says Tiffany...did you hear me...my relpy...yes I heard you...God says but are you really listening...my answer well yes...His reply...we will see...

so as we go through life I always say yes I hear you...well lately God has been saying no you don't because if you did....well you would know I say rest in me. Let me have all your fears, anxiety etc and let me deal with them. You know I have a plan for you but you won't allow me to do my work but then when I do you don't give me the glory. Just rest in me....

Well I am here to say God I hear you. I hear you loud and clear. I gave you my situation with my move and you hit it out of the ball park. You have provided my family with a house and I know you have someone picked out for this house rather a buyer or renter...Keep talking God because that my friend is the best conversation to have. Thank you so much for God that never gives up on me.

So I ask you are you hearing God.....but are you really listening?

Until next time