So lately I have seen so much in my family change when I decided to let God out of the box that I was in control of.
Started this bible study roughly end of 09 called Be Transformed by Scope Ministries. www.scopeministries.org/ There are nine chapter in this book below in order. 1. Discovering the Root of our problems, 2. Understanding the Good News, 3.Seeing ourselves as God sees us, 4. Getting to know our heavenly father, 5. Living by the spirit, 6. Controlling emotions, 7. Expectations, anger, and bitterness, 8. The perfomace treadmill, and 9. A life transformed.
Well yep you look at that and I don't know about you but I wanted to run. The first five I was good with, although I totally learned to much but the next ones well I wanted to plan four absences. lol
Back up a few...I have over come several things that happened to me in the past and in growing up. As I have overcome that stuff made total peace, gave forgiveness, etc wow did I learn a few things I thought I already knew. All though I had forgiven over all is still affected some of my lifes habits and decision. The bible study was going great until chapter seven....might as well dumped a whole truckload of manour on me..because that chapter permiated the smell of it in my life.
So chapter seven was expectations, anger, and bitterness. Well I soon realized that I had it in two huge areas of my life...One my finances and two my husband. In my house growing up after a discipline issue that usally went to far...the habit was for my mom to take me out and buy me something to make me and her feel better for what happened. Bad thing...started a pattern that has haunted me till about six months ago and it is still sometimes a struggle. So when life goes crazy or out of control I really have to fight to go out and shop for instant gratification but the finacial apsect of it well that hits me later. I love to shop at whatever cost, credit card, run the check book on empty etc. I tell you this because I am so free from that 95 percent of the time and it was this chapter. The only thing that can meet my eternal and earty happiness is my God. My husband plays a huge roll in it as I use Him as my rock to keep me from spending...lol He says ask yourself if it is a need or a want. Well a huge portion of the time it is a want...then I put it down and walk away..lol
The second part of this is my husband....Get ready because this my friend changed my life plus His!! On January 26, 2010 in my living room I told my girls at the group that were there that day that I was done...done with expectations with my husband. (Most of you know Jay now but one year ago he was a different man. Although he has always been a awesome man, great husband, provider, and dad the one thing I wanted I did not have...that was him to be the spiritual leader of our family.) I was tired of carrying that load. We are military and everytime we move we don't always find a church so you have to try to stay grounded. That was not a load that God called me to carry. He calls the man to be that leader. So that very day I said I am done. I am giving him to God...God if you think you can do it better then here he is...I am tired of him failing my expectations that then created anger, and then bitterness. (You see we have a son that just turned 18 and has a huge passion for God...hello God he needed that example)...well I know better to smart off to God because I know he just shakes his head and says watch this...lol
For a couple of weeks nothing changed....for the next two weeks something changed. My husband was quiet, edgy, moody etc...I kept asking what was going on, have I upset you, hurt you etc. Nope that is what I would get. Well Feb 21 I got the phone call...the dreaded phone call. Honey I am coming home for lunch and we need to have a serious talk. Well my stomach sunk, and my heart pounding. It was almost out 18 year wedding anniversary is seven days...really???? Well he came home and wow what a lunch. He proceeded to tell me how he has been freaked out for the past several weeks as he has notice some things changing in his life. (my husband is that guy who gets up at 4:30 every morning reads cnn.com, msn.com, and you version.com...see the pattern internet junky...lol) During the time I said God I am done...you deal with him...oh he did. So many things happened with God just changing my husbands heart and my husbands role...after several events back to back he jumped in took the role that I have been waiting for a long time....fast forward one year later my husband is the mens ministry leader, Is the paul in so many guys life..pours into them and I mean pours in to them with his whole heart. He loves like God, he leads like God, he has a HUGE passion for God and most of all he is our spiritual leader. He has set the bar for our son who is so solid in Christ right now and I know that with the leader he has had the past year he knows exactly what he is called to do if and when he marries his wife. I have been able to set that role aside and be the wife that God intended me to be...submissive to my sweet hubby who is finally right in line with God and God's plan for him. Today I love my husband more and more...we just celebrated 19 years of marriage and he is our spiritual leader...that my friends is priceless..
With chapter seven...I learned that NO ONE on this earth will ever meet my expectations and I mean NO ONE! The only person that will meet my expectations 100% in my sweet savior. So people time to take those expectations off of others and let God have it...DO NOT take it back. You can't change someone...only God can. You can be a example, a I will walk beside you kind of person, and I am hear for you but YOU can't change anyone.
With closing sadly we tend to put our God in a box....we limit Him to what He can do because either we want it done our way or we don't want anyone else to control it but us. We know that God always, always works for our good right? Then give it to him let him deal with your crap...he can clean it up so much better than we can.
So in closing...I leave you with this....let God out of the box that you keep Him in...you will be suprised at what he can do in a moment that we can't do in a lifetime...
until next time......