As I sit hear just knowing this is going to be my hardest move ever with all the things I have to "leave" behind I hear this we are going to miss you, we love you, what will this place be without you. Well I sit here saying...you can't truly get it until you have walked in my size five shoes, the feeling of what it is like to move every two to three years. Leave everyone that you make friends with behind. (I know this is a life we chose when we were young but as you get older it doesn't get any easier. When you are 18 you don't think that far ahead lol) People don't realize that when you move life for everyone else that you left behind goes on, that Tiffany as the military wife has to start over, new base, new area, new neighborhood, new friends, pray that we find a new church that fills that void when you leave the old one behind....this is so hard to keep doing. I am almost 38 and truly I am not ready to let my son go into this world, I am not ready to move again and leave everything and everyone behind but what choice do I have. Well I have two...
One, I keep wollaring in my self pitty, blend in the wall like a wall flower so I don't have to deal with it, stop doing things for God's work and quietly slip out of town ....or I can look at it as a honor....
I choose honor. Although I am sad some of the time thinking about this, cry about it to my friends, so clearly reminded every time I see my sons acceptance letter for college and the for sale sign in my yard when I walk out of my house. I am honored that my God thinks so much of me that He chooses to move me time after time again to further His kingdom. I may be sad that I move and that life goes on without me but how can I be sad that my God chooses to move me all over the world so that I can be a light, His light in a very dark world.
Today was a huge emotional day for me (in the most awesome way) as I was asked to baptize two friends. As I did it hit me with a ton of bricks of how God used me here to do work for Him. We take for granted having a church there every week for us. A church that we come to with open doors, very transparent people, a place to FREELY worship our God, a place to raise our hands high while worshing with songs, a place to further our relationship for our God.
The series we are doing in church today is called Who do you think you are? Well let me tell you who I am, I am a daughter, a mother, a military wife, a friend, and I am a masterpiece, God's masterpiece. He created me with a purpose way before I was even born. If I sit in this world and don't do His works that He has called me to do then what good am I to my family, my friends (near and far), to strangers that we have that chance encouter with to share my God with.
So as I have more days that go by and it gets closer to moving. I am going to well as they say put my big girl panties on and honor my God. Honor that He had and has a plan for my life. I may not like it and throw some fits but I stand firm in knowing He has a plan for me and it is a plan that is best for me.
Thank you to all my wonderful friends over the past 18 years in the airforce and civilian world for letting me in knowing that soon you will say goodbye. Treating my family like yours, for letting me be in your heart and most importantly you leaving a huge heartprint on my heart.
So as I close this post I clearly thank you God for choosing my life be part of your bigger devine plan. A plan that you loved me so much that you carefully took my lifeprint and want what is best for me. You have placed me right where I needed to be in each time of my life without fail. Although I do not know what your next plan is for me, I do know you already have it taken care of.
So I, Tiffany Kalin, am your masterpiece God, and it is only by your Grace that I have been saved......until next time.
I know exactly how you feel and am praying for you. It is never easy and God always supplies!
ReplyDeleteI love you and am thankful for what you do. My favorite saying," Put your big girl panties on and deal with it'. You said it better, and yes God will deal with it, He has your back always.
Tiffany - I cannot tell you how much you have impacted my life. You have been there through the most difficult time I have ever had to face. You cried with me, stood by me, helped me move, kicked me in the tail when I was sinking into self-pity, and took care of me and my babies when I couldn't. You are truly the best friend I have ever had, and I know that, even though you will be far away, our friendship will last forever. God will make sure of that! :) You are an inspirations and a blessing to so many people, including myself. I know you will get to DC and show those Yankee's how its done! I know you aren't but I am excited Hunter is staying here so I can help look out for him, and it means you will be coming back some! You and Jay have done an amazing job with that boy. He is a true man of God and will make you so proud. I am determined to make the last few months as memorable as possible and look forward to the days when we get to visit each other again. I love you Miss Tiffany. You are truly God's masterpiece.
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ReplyDeleteI know we haven't spoken in years and you probably just remember me as a pre-teen whose hair you used to do before I had to go to cheerleading. Reading this blog post makes me cry because I understand the pain of having to move every few years. I also know that it is what makes you who you are. No one every describes me as introverted or shy. I am usually described as extremely talkative, dorky, loud and funny. I learned to do this because I had to start over so many times. I can make a friend in a minute.You made a huge impact on my life and you were just getting started with yours. You had a little baby boy and I always wondered how you were able to do so much and stay so positive. You were my favorite Mom and I loved hanging out with you. Now I am a Mom and I think about you and Jason and how much I look up to you and respect you. You will always be in my heart and I will pray that God looks over you and blesses you with an awesome new church and new beginnings!
I haven't been blessed to know you as an adult but only as my childhood friend but I see through your post that you have grown into a beautiful woman. I see the your troubled soul in your words as you describe the anxiety of moving. I can't help but think of Abraham and Sarah in the Old Testament. They didn't know where they were going but they went as faithful servants to God.
ReplyDeleteI married into a civilian life and have been blessed to live in the same city for most of my married life. Just moving from one neighborhood to the other caused me angst. You my sweet friend are amazing. I am blessed to know you and watch your walk with Christ. I pray that you find peace in this move and I know the Kingdom of God will be expanded by your constant reaching out in love for His children. I love you my sister.
Sweet Lara...such kind words from someone that was not just that preteen in our lives at that time. I enjoyed it..I do remember laughing a lot and you don't know how laughter can keep a soul in check...(As Jay and I were talking about it he said I don't remember you doing her hair for cheerleading but I remember taking her to golf camp..lol As you can see clearly the different memories of men and woman...lol) What I do know is that in a time that your mom could not drive due to medical conditions that I was so glad that I could help her. She was so loving, great on advice and different words of wisdom. Because I was such a young mom (19 almost 20) at that time I had so many things in my life to deal with. New wife, new mom, new to the air force with my husband etc. It is weird cause I would have never thought that at that time I would have a impact when I was so screwed up myself. I tried to keep it together the best I could but had so much baggage from my childhoos, a child that was always sick, and a young person that always dreamed of a white pickett fence..lol Yeah well as you know our dreams can be warped when reality hits us. haha I read your page and you have turned out to be a wonderful, beautiful woman of God, ....a mother of a handsome son. OH my I want to eat Jude up....too stinking cute he is... Well girl I hope you have a beautiful day and just maybe one day we will live close enough to meet up...you know give is 2-3 more years and we might move closer...we will see where the military says I get to live next...lol Love ya precious
ReplyDeleteOh Donna...what a life we have had. So many nights playing until well, when we were kids, when the street lights come on then you have to come home. I think you are in most every picture I have from that place..lol I love it. What I love more is that we have been able to reconnect and watch the children kind of grow although it was not as close as we lived to each other. However through the internet we are able to watch those fun moments.
ReplyDeleteI want to be Sarah and be his faithful servant but sadly I can say I get so scared and overwhelmed. I know to trust in Him, and I know he has my best interest at heart but it still hurts. The hardest part is gonna be leaving my baby (not so baby anymore) behind. I think God helps prepare your heart but oh man it still hurts.
So as you continue to pray for me I am so thankful for that. As we have shared our lives with each other I pray that God keeps us solid as friends and sisters forever....I love you sweet Donna
I am so going to miss you! Yes I had to get a tissue before I could finish reading your blog. I will never forget that day you cared enough to call me just when I needed you the most! Thank you for being there for me at the hospital when no one else came. I can honestly say God put you in my life for a reason and I love you so much!! You truly are my best friend! I will miss you so much! And I am thankful for these new cell phones when you can call anywhere. Get ready for it. Thank you for always being there and remember, when you hurt I hurt. I trust you with everything. ((((((Hugs))))
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