Tuesday, May 8, 2012
A day in the life of a short person...snicker snicker
Dear Department Store Retailers, I love how you use every space possible to have stuff stocked up to the brim with products we need. However at five foot tall I can never reach any of those...so you sit there look up and watch several people walk by not offereing to help...then we go walking and searching any isle for the next tallest person. Hey sir, can you please help me (mind you as I get a look like I have three eyes). Uhm okay what do you need. Well I am trying to get this product down, obviously I can't so thank you for helping me. Usually the next comment from the helpful person wow they should not put things up this tall because people can't reach them...my thought...thank you as that was not obvious in this situation...lol
As a person of 5 feet tall in crowds we get to smell things most people don't. If you have ever hugged me you know I go to most people arm pits...so in a crowd I walk through getting to smell armpit odors that most people don't smell...or if you try to pull of the fart and go...guess what..yep you guessed that green cloud goes right in my face...really that's fabulous. I think I have decided to be armed with spray deodorant for one and a fart extinguisher for the other....so beware if you do that around me I will track you down and help out with those issues..just a warning
As a person of 5 feet tall...riding the metro is so fabulous I can't even express the excitement (disclaimer here I despise the metro). It is so fun at peak time when we have to use it to get downtown cause there is not parking or if you find it, it is so expesive you should just give them your first born. Anyways...the best part is all the poles running from ceiling to floor always taken to hold onto. The ones on the ceiling not so much...okay news flash I cant even reach those on my tippy toes...hows that for safety...next my favorite is when someone has on a backpack...omgosh I love it when you turn so fast that you cold cock me with it in the face and you never even knew. So from this day foward I plan on hitting back..I will carry my backpack full of bricks as well....just a forwarning...lol
Go to the docs office this past Monday. Check in all is well.. have a seat we will call you. I think perfect...go to sit on the couch in the lobby and the couch was so far back that my knees caps where on the cushion thus leaving very little of my legs free and no way possible to touch the floor..if I sit back. If I sit on the edge all is well but I look like by body posture that I am out to kill the world on a anger streak. lol So as I sit back the feet might tend to start tingling as they have no blood supply from dangling free..lol Tiffany as they call me back...my first thought well with no circulation will I stand up and fall from lack of feeling...lol
Driving a new car these days...bought a mini cooper covertible...cute fun small car...however when the top is down and I am driving...from behind you can't see me cause the fronts seats are so tall. I can imagine what that must look like....hey is this car remote control seeing that no one is in it...lol. It is a small car...why do we have such tall seats...just wondering..
As you can see in the picture...if your brother is 6'4"ish this is what happens to you...not only this but the good morning wake up call when we are visiting is to hold me down and fart on me...there are no words to express my love for him when he does that but JIMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY! Gotta love brothers...(disclaimer here I love my brothers very much but boys are just gross just sayin lol)
Yesterday while getting Cold Stone with Jay...we walk out of the store with a Fed Ex truck passing right by us in the street...He gives it gas and yep you guessed it diesel exhaust all in my face the first reaction is to say something like wow that stinks...so what doest that mean..just inhaled a whole lot of polution....So not is the world poluted so are my lungs. lol
Anyways just some short humor for the day...
until next time..